When is my Ex-Boyfriend Getting Divorced?
I’m ready to pounce.
If JLo can do it, so can I is not a thought I have often, or ever really. Her work ethic blows mine out of the water and she also has perfect skin. But when she somehow pulled off the magic trick of getting not only back together with, but married to Ben Affleck after seventeen years, I immediately decided that I too could go and retrieve my ex-boyfriend Marty.
Unfortunately, unlike Affleck at the time JLo scooped him up, Marty is currently married. (The other problem is that I am not JLo). But no matter; by my calculations Marty should be getting divorced any minute now.
Before I get into this analysis, let me take this opportunity admit that I spend way too much time thinking about celebrities’ love lives. When I saw that the Bennifer 2.0 was a thing, I immediately started to wonder how Jennifer Garner was taking it, and obsessively watched her Instagram feed for clues. I’m relieved to report that Garner not only didn’t say a word about it, she also stayed true to her same wonderful geeky self, posting animal videos and being a full nerd in the kitchen.
Personally, I could not be that strong. I know that if my ex took up with one of the hottest women in the world, I would attempt to be hot on social media. The fact that Garner didn’t feel the need to change at…
