We can dive into the hard-hitting issues like the gender wage gap (which is mostly caused by motherhood, and not womanhood) in a piece that actually takes itself seriously. I guess it's my failure that the lighthearted nature of this particular piece didn't come through, although I thought calling the Marquis de Sade "the worst boyfriend ever" would have been a hint.

But however they achieve it, either naturally or through training, French women are better at this than American women, with our wash-and-wear and bedazzled jeans. We need help.