Adeline Dimond
2 min readJun 22, 2021


The two opinions cannot co-exist, because we have a set of facts here. And facts still matter.

Fact #1: the comments were about one body part, already a dehumanizing practice.

Fact #2: while perhaps the first comment "Babe, you won't drown" was lighthearted (although interestingly the writer of the that comment actually did message me to apologize later), the other comments discussed the one body part as if it was strange, wrong, out of bounds - take your pick. The fact is that is not "light-hearted" even if people use internet slang like "LMFAO."

These two facts, taken together, mean that the people who responded were trying to convey that one part of me is a problem. Not cool, not beautiful, a problem.

As for your comment regarding my comment that most of the comments like yours came from men was some attempt to shut down discussion: No. First, here we are; the discussion has clearly not ended. Second, I love men. I'm not one of those feminist writers you will find on this site who have decided that all society's ills are cause by men. Heck, I don't even believe in the patriarchy -- mostly because women are outperforming men these days on any metric, like higher education and property ownership. But I do think it's interesting that all the comments like yours came from men. I have my suspicions as to why that is, but would be curious about yours.

As for your directive to "lighten up" -- this was a personal essay. The key to personal essay writing is to be honest. Would I like to be the type of person/robot that isn't affected by what other people say? Sure. And often I am. But I had this reaction on this day, and wrote about it. Turns out, if you read through the rest of the comments from both women and men, this feeling and reaction is actually common. But maybe it's all the rest of us who should "lighten up"?

Finally, as for the idea that I have a need to "always be right" not sure what to say about that other than to say that yes, if someone comes to tell me that I somehow have misinterpreted my own experience then yeah, I'm going to respond. Because I'm right about my own experience.