It’s End Times — What Are You Gonna Have for Dinner?

Time throw away the rulebook

Adeline Dimond
5 min readFeb 28, 2020

You Guys, It’s End Times

As we all know, it’s end times. And no, I’m not talking about the dictator-in-training in the White House or the cage match on Tuesday night masquerading as the Democratic debate. I’m talking about the fact that China announced this week that it’s sending two thousand ducks to Pakistan to deal with the locust invasion. I guess the ducks are gonna eat the locusts.

I am screaming about this! All I want to do is go kiss those little duckies on their fuzzy little heads and tell them good luck, have fun and pace yourself. This is the same advice I would give anyone going to a buffet.

That the little cute duckies are all I can think about, and not the Pakistani people being stuffed into a blanket of insects, tells you a lot about where my head is. It’s where everyone else’s head is: resigned and yet laughing uncontrollably at totally inappropriate things.

Other evidence that it’s end times includes:

  • When the internet first became a thing, all my librarian friends (yes, I have librarian friends and they are wild) were like, “this is so cool everyone is going to share all sorts of information with each other and it will lead to better understanding”…