I’m a Fake so I Can be Real
An ego-driven introduction to me, a fake person on the internet.
I really loathe “about me” stories, about as much as I hate brioche buns on hamburgers, overhead lighting, and the phrase “girl boss.” But I find myself writing one now because somehow overnight my follower count exploded (no complaints, obviously) and in a moment of unadulterated egocentricity, I started to worry that the new followers wouldn’t find my previous stories. Is this something I should lose sleep over? No. But my ego is driving this runaway train.
Hi, I’m Adeline, which is not my real name. In my real life, I work for the feds, and I just didn’t feel like wondering every time I wrote something if I was engaging in “conduct unbecoming” according to my agency. Plus, a few years ago I was on the board of animal rescue, and some psychopathic twat started an online harassment campaign against anyone associated with the rescue. I didn’t feel like dealing with her again — although if someone knows a good, legal way to get revenge, I’m all ears — so a fake name, a nom de plume, seemed the way to go. I write more about this decision here, musing about the difference between the online and the “real” world.
The upside of the using a fake name — a mishmash of my grandmothers’ names — is that I’m able to write about things like abortion…
