First , I didn't refer to any of part of my body as "ugly." I explained that living with large breasts is difficult because they are deemed out of bounds, somehow illegal.
Second, of course you're right that in an ideal world, nothing would bother anyone. We could all be cyborgs, and simply dismiss everything everyone says. If that works for you, hats off. I however, wanted to write a piece that was actually honest. I am not a cyborg, I emote, I care what my friends say.
As for the half-hearted jokes in the comments rather than "straight up" telling them -- the jokes WERE a way of "straight up" telling them, while keeping the vibe light. Anyone with basic reading comprehension skills would have seen my comments and figured it out. And one of them did, because immediately got an apology from the first commenter. Since then, the other commenters have seen THIS story and the results have been mixed - some apologized, some got defensive. So bottom line: nothing I could do will change how they are going to behave.
As this being an "attention grab" -- I've been writing on Medium since 2019. Are all my stories "attention grabs" or just this one?