There are a lot — It was a mistake to sell my apartment in Brooklyn. It was a mistake to come back to Los Angeles for a boy. It was a mistake not to swim through a magical underwater tunnel in Kauai, that led to a cylinder-like rock formation with a ceiling to the sky…

This is the life hacks of all life hacks — I hate it when people give unsolicited advice. For instance, yesterday an old friend walked into my house for the first time, and told me to get rid of all my books because they made the place looked cluttered. “You really like books, huh?” she said, staring at a small…

I’m lonely but I’m also not — Wikipedia explains that Schrödinger’s Cat “is a thought experiment that illustrates a paradox of quantum superposition. In the thought experiment, a hypothetical cat may be considered simultaneously both alive and dead as a result of its fate being linked to a random subatomic event that may or may not occur.”…

How does Present Me know what Future Me wants? — My favorite movie scene is this one, in which Robin Williams plays a refugee from the Soviet Union, overwhelmed by the amount of coffee choices in an American supermarket. My other favorite movie scene is this one, in which Donald Sutherland plays an art dealer mesmerized by the artwork in…

Hello, I have COVID. And I will forever. — Hello, I have COVID. No, I don’t know where I got it. It could have been the Elton John concert I went to on Thursday night, or the haircut I had Friday, or the lunch I had Friday, or the meeting with the contractor I had Saturday, or the lunch…

No one understands me anymore, literally. — Last week I spent five hours dealing with AT&T and then I went to the grocery store. I tried to figure out what to make for dinner, but was exhausted and felt oppressed by too many choices. Then I remembered the deli counter and its array of prepared foods, and…

Surprise! I too have productivity tips. — I wrote a piece about a situation that bugged me. A “law of attraction” type showed up to tell me that I had a victim mentality and showed no accountability for my predicament. …

As a single person, I’ve been cast into the role of court jester and I am very over it. — I don’t love writing about singlehood head-on, unless I’m joking about it, or exploring loneliness. There’s a ton of much better writing on the topic, mostly but not exclusively from Shani Silver, and I don’t know that I would add anything useful that wouldn’t somehow be twisted to pathologize singlehood…

As some guy once said, an unexamined life is not worth living. — I am in a massive amount of credit card debt. And no, I’m not going to tell you the number. I can barely utter it aloud to myself without spiraling. I say mean things to myself every time I think about it. But perhaps worse — or maybe it’s a…