We need help. — I don’t think it’s up for debate that we are in the midst of a collective mental breakdown. If there were any lingering doubt, the photos of Will Smith dancing at Oscar parties after he assaulted Chris Rock has removed it. Did Will’s publicist just walk off the job? Probably…

There are a lot — It was a mistake to sell my apartment in Brooklyn. It was a mistake to come back to Los Angeles for a boy. It was a mistake not to swim through a magical underwater tunnel in Kauai, that led to a cylinder-like rock formation with a ceiling to the sky…

This is the life hacks of all life hacks — I hate it when people give unsolicited advice. For instance, yesterday an old friend walked into my house for the first time, and told me to get rid of all my books because they made the place looked cluttered. “You really like books, huh?” she said, staring at a small…

I’m lonely but I’m also not — Wikipedia explains that Schrödinger’s Cat “is a thought experiment that illustrates a paradox of quantum superposition. In the thought experiment, a hypothetical cat may be considered simultaneously both alive and dead as a result of its fate being linked to a random subatomic event that may or may not occur.”…

What, you don’t want to hear what she thinks? — On Trump’s indictment What, you want that I should know why this altekaker thought it would be a good idea to sleep with a porn star and then give her money? The Manhattan DA seems nice. Do you think he’s single? What. I just want you to find a nice man. …

Dark chocolate is bad. Stop lying about it. — [I originally wrote about this issue in a piece published in 2019, and forgot about it. Then yesterday, Geo Snelling — who is usually brilliant — commented on the latest Sybarite newsletter, and claimed that the Nestle TollHouse Cookie recipe was not the best cookie recipe AND THEN SUGGESTED A…